Sweet Ass Slow Cooked Meaty Stuff

Americans. It's either super-fast, like a shitty burger from a drive-thru (or a gun that can rip out 1200 rounds per second) or it's super-slow, like the intelligence of whoever runs the NRA (or delicious meats of the slow-cooked variety). And when it comes to guns and meat, they seem to love both with a zeal that would suggest they could do a Gun buy-back scheme if they offered slow-cooked BBQ ribs or perhaps pulled pork. IDEAS, they're free.

The other week I was in Coles Broadmeadows (Broady) and I saw one of those boxed dinner sets in the meat dept that includes almost a Kilogram of pork shoulder and a sachet of spiced BBQ sauce on special ($9 down from $12) as it had an expiry date of the next day (who would have guessed that in Broady, which is heavily populated by Muslims, pork wouldn't be a big seller?). So I rolled the dice and bought it, cooked it as suggested on the box and five hours later had one of the most delicious things I have ever cooked. Praise Allah. It was tender, it was moist, it was sweet and bbqy and there was too much of it. ALL GOOD THINGS. The next day I made a pizza with the leftover meat HOLY PORK BALLS it was brilliant.

Pulled Pork. CHORTLE.
But seriously, when I finally go on a murderous rampage,
I want this as my last meal before I am put to death

So since then, I have been buying a variety of different meats and trying a few different things. Unfortunately, I forgot that I also write a food blog, so I haven't been documenting any of this. What an total fucking IDIOT.

THEN, the other night when I was stumbling around Safeway Brunswick with $12 left in my bank account looking for the cheapest things ever when I noticed a cheap little semi-offcut product called "Lamb Ribs". They were also on sale, down from $2.07 to $1.89. I grabbed two packs of these and also a bottle of this fantastic stuff called "BBQ Rib Sauce" by Three Threes (also on sale at $1.84). I repeated the recipe with the lamb and cooked them for 3 hours this time (they were a lot smaller than the pork shoulder and with the bones in, cooked quicker), turning them twice at regular intervals and re-saucing. UH-MAZING. The bones literally fell clean out of the meat. Massively recommend.

Three Threes brand did not pay me to promote their product, but they can if they want. I'll accept more of their awesome sauce. btw, this is the only context I will accept the term "awesome sauce" without going into a murderous rampage.

THEN I found some very cheap Pork Ribs ($5.63) and repeated the process as I think I am addicted to meaty, BBQy, heroiny awesomness. Check this shit out. So easy.

Do this.
Pre-heat your oven to just 150C.
Put your chosen meat on a tray.
Spread your chosen sauce all over it, but dont use all the sauce as you will need some for re-saucing as it cooks.
Chuck it in the oven.
Go watch one of those movies on your hard-drive that you've been meaning to get around to, (I recommend Cowboys & Aliens), make sweet sweet love to your life-partner, wash the sheets and voila its time to turn the meat over and re-sauce (that's what she said).
With some of the Chosen Meats, cooking time will vary because of the thickness of it, the bones in it, the quality of your oven and other contributing factors, so keep an eye on it as it may cook quicker than it takes to make sweet sweet love to your chosen life-partner, especially if you're into that tantric lovin'. I'm not, I tend to be a 6-7 minute kind of guy but that's not important right now, so forget I said anything about it. Certainly don't go telling all your buddies about it at the urinal or wherever men tell each other stuff. Please, it would ruin my otherwise impeccable sexual reputation. Oh, wait, actually, I don't care if you tell dudes. Just keep it a secret from the ladies.

Here is another pic of the ribs, after I cut them up. HOLY FUCK THEY WERE SO GREAT, I don't even mind that this picture ruins the formatting. THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF HOW GREAT