Luckily, soup is cheap! And satisfying. Well, it can be when you don't fuck it up. And even luckier is that it is very hard to fuck it up. Unless YOU are a fuck up. But then a fuck up fucking up the unfuckupable would be pretty much par for the course, so lets not count unhatched eggs as anything but eggs.
If you're looking for cheap, hearty and soupy, Pea & Ham Soup is all of those things. It is my absolute favourite soup in the world ever. It has all the things I need from a soup. It's thick, it's aromatic, it's meaty, it's pea-y and it reminds me of my childhood. It's a lot to ask from a soup. But there is more. It's cheap, there are only a few ingredients, some of which can be left out altogether if you want, and it will still turn a great result, and blokes will love it.
I was in ALDI. Because who doesn't love a bargain product with a similar name and font to a big name product but with a better price tag? Seriously, the doors to ALDI are a portal to a world very similar to ours but with no recognisable brands. The other day I bought some "Chazoo's" Cheesy Bacon Balls. Not Cheeto's. Chazoo's. Like the name, they were almost the same but not quite as good . Anyway, I saw Ham Hocks in ALDI so I grabbed a big one for the very good price of $3.61. Then I looked around for split peas but they didn't have any. Laptops, weights and Chazoo's Burger Hoops, sure, but no split peas. Makes sense.
In Woolies, the split peas were $1.66. (The Ham Hocks were WAAAAAY more expensive than ALDI bee tee dubs) Awesome. And as a bonus, the recipe for Pea & Ham Soup is on the back of the pea packet. It includes a bunch of other stuff like onion, carrots, celery and bay leaves which are ALL negotiable. Especially as the recipe says to do some stuff that I disagree with, like puree-ing the soup at the end. FUCK OFF.
You can cook this in a big pot or a slow cooker if you like (I went the slow cooker option because it requires less attention). Chuck the ham hock and split peas in the pot with 12 cups of water. Add a bay leaf, a chicken stock cube, a chopped onion and IF YOU WANT, I DIDNT BOTHER, 2 or 3 chopped up carrots and celery sticks. The reason I didn't bother is because I don't want to have to puree the soup at the end. It should be ready just from cooking it, fuck making more mess and delaying the eating process.
Then you can just leave it on a low heat (Low setting on the Slow Cooker) for ages and then come back and stir it every once in a while. Like, seriously 8 hours. BUT if you are cooking it in a big stove-top pot, be very careful not to leave it for too long without stirring it because the peas can burn to the bottom of the pan and then, yes, that will have fucked it up.
Then, after ages, when it resembles primordial sludge, it's ready.
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| It's ready. |
Just remove all the ham bones and the skin, toast up some old bread, butter the shit out of it and go to fucking town.
This is a lot of soup. It freezes well but I don't recommend doing that. Just leave it in the pot and reheat as required. If you find it gets too thick and congeals, just add a cup or two of water in the reheating process and its good as gold. Good onya.
